It’s Only Day Two and They’re Already Pole Dancing!

It’s probably a good thing Day One of the Nebraska Legislature was devoted to pomp and circumstance because that meant no legislative bills were introduced. Now here we are on Day Two and already we have in the hopper such vital measures as testing tractors, eliminating Daylight Saving time, whether or not we should mow weeds in ditches, and yes, everyone’s must-have legislation: defining just exactly what constitutes a “barber pole.” Is this a brilliant legislative body or what?

In case you need to know, a “barber pole” shall mean “a cylinder or pole with alternating stripes of red, white, and blue or any combination of them which run diagonally along the length of the cylinder or pole.” Who knew? If you happen to come upon one of these heretofore unknown objects in the future, you will have Senator Fulton to thank when you most assuredly and self-confidently remark, “Hey! That there is a Barber Pole!”

I always thought Daylight Saving time was a lot like cutting one end of a blanket off and sewing it on the other end to make it longer. However, after all of these years, I kind of enjoy the yearly exercise of spring-forward, fall-back.  But Senator Schilz wants to align us with all of those other states that do not exercise time management twice a year … let’s see, that would be Hawaii and Arizona. Boy, we had better jump on the bandwagon before it leaves us behind. Or in the dark.

And yes, since this is Nebraska, we actually have a Board of Tractor Test Engineers. They test tractors. I’m not sure what they test them for. But hey, it’s a living. They used to test only tractors rated over 40 horseppower. Senator Price wants to raise that minimum test requirement to 100 horsepower. Gotta keep up with the times, here in Nebraska. Pretty soon we’re gonna get rid of all of our rotary dial telephones and go touch-tone, just as soon as the old phones wear out.

There were 135 legislative bills introduced today, along with 4 constitutional amendments. The senators have eight more days to put even more stuff in the hopper. Stay tuned for the latest and greatest introduced by Nebraska’s finest. It’s gonna be a long session.


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